If your partner's drinking is affecting your life, you can seek support for yourself whether or not they want treatment. You do not need to diagnose them, persuade them in one conversation or manage their recovery alone.
Put Your Safety First
If you or someone else is in immediate danger, call 000. For domestic, family or sexual violence support, contact 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732, or use its online support options.
Violence and abuse are not always physical. If you fear your partner's reaction, seek individual safety advice before attempting a difficult conversation or changing arrangements at home. A discussion about drinking must not take priority over your safety or a child's safety.
Start With What You Have Noticed
If it is safe to talk, choose a calm time when your partner is not intoxicated. The Alcohol and Drug Foundation's family guidance recommends avoiding blame and threats.
Keep the opening specific. For example: "I'm worried about what happened after drinking last night. Would you be willing to talk with a GP about it?"
Listen to what concerns them about getting help. Ask permission before researching services or arranging appointments on their behalf. You can offer practical help, such as writing down questions together, without deciding their treatment for them.
Let a Clinician Assess the Drinking and Withdrawal Risk
Healthdirect describes alcohol dependence as a condition that can involve strong urges to drink, difficulty stopping and withdrawal symptoms. A relationship disagreement or a checklist on a website cannot establish a diagnosis.
Seek medical advice before attempting withdrawal. Do not try to manage a possible dependence by forcing an abrupt stop or devising a home detox plan. A GP or alcohol and drug service can assess the next step.
You can call the National Alcohol and Other Drug Hotline on 1800 250 015 to ask about support in your state or territory.
Set Boundaries Around What You Can Do
Boundaries describe your own actions and limits. They should be realistic and safe for your circumstances. For example:
These examples are conversation prompts, not instructions for every relationship. Discuss difficult decisions about money, accommodation or children with an appropriate support service. Avoid a plan intended to make someone suffer consequences so they will accept treatment.
If They Do Not Want Help
You can leave the offer of support open and speak with a family support service yourself. You are not responsible for making another adult ready for treatment.
Our guide to supporting someone who does not want rehab explains practical next steps. An emergency or concern about immediate safety needs urgent professional help, not another attempt at persuasion.
If They Are Ready to Explore Treatment
A GP or alcohol and drug service can help assess suitable options. Residential rehab is one option; treatment can also take place in the community. Healthdirect explains the available treatment settings.
With your partner's agreement, prepare a short list of questions:
Read the GP referral guide or compare published service information. The provider must confirm suitability and admission arrangements. A directory enquiry is not an admission booking.
Get Support for Yourself
Talk with your GP, counsellor or a family support service about the effect on your own health and daily life. The Alcohol and Drug Foundation lists family support options, including Family Drug Support on 1300 368 186.
You can ask for help with a specific problem, such as preparing for a conversation, deciding a boundary or planning support while your partner is in treatment. Their decision about treatment does not remove your need for care.
Sources
Sources checked 14 October 2026. This is general information, not individual clinical or legal advice.